Overall I think works pretty well. My first question is...where is this taking place?
Perhaps the previous page is a splash and establishes the set / environment. But these guys are nowhere based on these 2 pages.
Question 2, why does the guy in panel 7 have no shading in that panel? Is he charging up his chi for a Street Fighter "AllYouCan"?
At panel 13, that guy's head will be in the staples gutter. Move him to right by 1/8 to 1/4 of an inch. I'd also make it so he's not breaking the border since he is in the background and you have a foreground element.
You break the panel in 10 shots; that many times in a 2-page sequence lessens the importance and drama from doing it. Instead of communicating impact, it looks like you are struggling to fit the content into the panels.
The big win for this sequence is that the fighting reads/looks exciting. The moves look like semi-realistic martial arts and you have the guys in all kinds of poses and for the most part your style accommodates it. Most USA comics these days tend to stay with faux boxing fight poses -- so it looks distinct when you shy away from that.
Martin's friend Adam Warren uses martial arts fight poses to good effect. And that's one of the reasons his work stands apart, in my opinion.
my initial feeling is it reads right to left opposed to left to right because of the direction of the angled panels. I feel the flow is backwards... I am a bit confused on how to follow the panels.
You are losing some of the energy in the motion from your roughs to the final panels.
Thanks for the critiques. These good feedback, I can always trust you guys to be brutally honest.
As far as where are they fighting, I established where they are on page 9. I was planning on including the environment but it was making the page too cluttered already. I agree with the number of panels, I actually got the writer to cut it down to the 15 instead of the 19 panels. I could hint at the environment with colors later. The guy will be glowing on panel 7.
Good point on the flow of the pages, I can maybe place the word balloon to help hint at the direction of the flow.
I agree with you on the roughs. That's one of the things I need to work on. I have to be able to keep that energy when I clean up the linework.
Overall I think works pretty well. My first question is...where is this taking place?
ReplyDeletePerhaps the previous page is a splash and establishes the set / environment. But these guys are nowhere based on these 2 pages.
Question 2, why does the guy in panel 7 have no shading in that panel? Is he charging up his chi for a Street Fighter "AllYouCan"?
At panel 13, that guy's head will be in the staples gutter. Move him to right by 1/8 to 1/4 of an inch. I'd also make it so he's not breaking the border since he is in the background and you have a foreground element.
You break the panel in 10 shots; that many times in a 2-page sequence lessens the importance and drama from doing it. Instead of communicating impact, it looks like you are struggling to fit the content into the panels.
The big win for this sequence is that the fighting reads/looks exciting. The moves look like semi-realistic martial arts and you have the guys in all kinds of poses and for the most part your style accommodates it. Most USA comics these days tend to stay with faux boxing fight poses -- so it looks distinct when you shy away from that.
Martin's friend Adam Warren uses martial arts fight poses to good effect. And that's one of the reasons his work stands apart, in my opinion.
Keep up the good work.
-Josh
my initial feeling is it reads right to left opposed to left to right because of the direction of the angled panels. I feel the flow is backwards... I am a bit confused on how to follow the panels.
ReplyDeleteYou are losing some of the energy in the motion from your roughs to the final panels.
I love your roughs.
Thanks for the critiques. These good feedback, I can always trust you guys to be brutally honest.
ReplyDeleteAs far as where are they fighting, I established where they are on page 9. I was planning on including the environment but it was making the page too cluttered already. I agree with the number of panels, I actually got the writer to cut it down to the 15 instead of the 19 panels. I could hint at the environment with colors later. The guy will be glowing on panel 7.
Good point on the flow of the pages, I can maybe place the word balloon to help hint at the direction of the flow.
I agree with you on the roughs. That's one of the things I need to work on. I have to be able to keep that energy when I clean up the linework.